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| Ellen Degeneres virus........... | Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC. |
| Monica Lewinsky virus........... | Sucks all the memory out of your computer. |
| Titanic virus................. | Makes your whole computer go down. |
| Disney virus.................... | Everything in the computer goes Goofy. |
| Mike Tyson virus................ | Quits after one byte. |
| X-files virus................... | All your Icons start shape shifting. |
| Prozac virus.......... | Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care. |
| Sharon Stone virus........ | Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there. |
| Lorena Bobbit virus...... | Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy. |
| Viagra virus......... | Turns you 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive. |
| Tim Allen virus...... | Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact. |
| Woody Allen virus........ | Bypasses the motherboard and screws the daughter card |
| Saddam Hussein virus ......... | Won't let you into any of your programs. |
| Tonya Harding virus.......... | Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons. |
| George Michaels virus........ | Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup. |
| Joey Buttafuoco virus........ | Only attacks minor files. |
| Spice Girl virus........... | Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop. |
| Ronald Reagan virus.......... | Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored. |
| Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus........ | Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them. |
| Martha Stewart virus ........ | Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop |
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